Posted by TBR (IP: 24.4.254.16) on August 12, 2000 at 10:43:54:
In Reply to: First you need a degree from the Redneck Institute of ShitKickers. n/m posted by T.L. on August 11, 2000 at 23:03:01:
The bartender was washing his glasses, when an elderly
Irishman came in. With great difficulty, the Irishman hoisted
his bad leg over the barstool, pulled himself up painfully,
and asked for a sip of Irish whiskey. The Irishman looked
down the bar and said, "Is that Jesus down there?" The
bartender nodded, so the Irishman told him to give
Jesus an Irish whiskey, too.
The next patron to come in was an ailing Italian with a
hunched back, who moved very slowly. He shuffled up to the
barstool and asked for a glass of Chianti. He also looked
down the bar and asked if that was Jesus sitting at the end
of the bar. The bartender nodded, so the Italian said to give
Him a glass of Chianti, too.
The third patron to enter the bar was a redneck, who
swaggered into the bar and hollered, "Barkeeper, set me up a
cold one! Hey, is that God's Boy down there?" The barkeeper
nodded, so the redneck told him to give Jesus a cold one,
too.
As Jesus got up to leave, he walked over to the Irishman and
touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!"
The Irishman felt the strength come back to his leg, so he
got up and danced a jig out the door. Jesus touched the
Italian and said, "For your kindness, you are healed!" The
Italian felt his back straighten, so he raised his hands
above his head and did a flip out the door.
Jesus walked toward the redneck, but the redneck jumped back
and exclaimed, "Don't touch me! I'm drawin' disability!"